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I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
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