i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.