arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..