You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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