i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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