new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
