Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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