You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
