id be glad to
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
