im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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