u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
