I wannas sexs uuuuu
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
