he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
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