So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
