Is it normal to miss your booty call?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
