Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
