Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
