Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Randomize
