All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
