I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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