I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
We need to rekindle our bromance
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
