They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Randomize
