He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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