We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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