dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
