did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Randomize
