He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
