Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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