I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
