i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
