is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
