we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
