Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
