Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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