I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
