She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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