too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
