My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
