dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
