I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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