I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
