Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
