Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
