She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
