Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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