you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
he laminated a picture of his dick.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
