Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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