just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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