Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
