he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
