Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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