Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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