How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
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St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
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"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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