4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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