who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
