i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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