My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
There r osticjed everywhere
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
