He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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