your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
