Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Randomize
