I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
