hell yes lets make some ravioli
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
