Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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