You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
